Fighting It

I have this urge to just quit, to just lay down and cry. It's all I want to do, but I'm fighting it for the reason that I'm afraid. I've been here before hell I'm in this emotional place frequently. It isn't consistent sometimes I can go months without feeling it and other times just a few short weeks before it hits again. Most people call IT depression. The only way I can describe it as a black hole. Energy, emotions, desires, and dreams are just sucked in and your left with nothing. I don't want to reach the point where I don't even ..... I just don't want to go there. So I fight the the urge to cry I feel like if I give in it's just a short slippery slope till I'm left with nothing once more. It is so hard to come back from that, I still struggle with it daily. Which is why I've decided to go to the beach soon, it calms and sooths. Just watching wave after wave come in puts my mind at ease and gives me the opportunity to climb back up without struggling so much.