2011

I've spent the last few years distracting myself from myself with new adventures.  While they were sometimes fun, they sure were memorable, but I"m coming to the realization that one of my motivators was to keep busy so I wouldn't have to reflect or face my issues.  While I don't regret not one of my adventures I'm realizing I'm holding myself back from moving forward with my life.  It's time, it's beyond past time to deal with my past, with my bitterness.  I've let this keep me closed off from the world and my faith, that way I'd be safe from pain.  This year I'm going to be brave and deal with it by writing, I'm sure there will be crying/sobbing, but I sure as hell want to avoid depression.  I'm hoping that by doing this I'll be able to let go of the weight I carry, that I'll be able to open up if only slightly at first.  Terrified, but doing it anyway.