Are you a Christian?

So I'm trying the method that's worked for me in the past: faking it till I make it.  I'm doing the church thing even though I'm not 100% in wholeheartedly, yet.  I'm hoping that with time I'll open up and start believing completely. At this moment I'm filled with doubts that are helping block the path I want to take.  Several questions were asked some stuck with me and I'm contemplating theme at the moment.  Do you believe the Bible?  Who is Jesus to you?  and Are you a Christian?

The first question I didn't think about my answer, it came to me immediately, no I don't.  I'm not hating on it, but I don't turn to it when it comes to my relationship with the Lord.  I see it as a book that people that lived long ago wrote about what they experienced or heard, that's it.  I don't see it as a book that came directly from God.  The very thought that followed this answer was Have you ever read the Bible?  Now my response has always been no I don't believe in the Bible, but why that question hadn't popped into my head before I don't know.  I have tried to read it before, by the way didn't even get through Genesis before quitting.  So it occurs to me maybe I shouldn't judge a book before reading it first. Just a thought.

The second question was the hardest of the three for me to answer.  He was man.  He affected history.  His life influences us to this day an age.  The real question though is Do you believe he is the Son of God?  Well I was raised being told he was, so I just assumed it was true.  It wasn't till I was an adult that it occurred to me to question that.  When I think of a symbol for my faith the cross comes to mind, but not just the cross, Jesus on the cross.  So does that mean that I truly believe Jesus is the Son of God? Do I truly believe he gave up his life for us? That because of him we have Heaven? Do I truly believe God loves us to the point that he sacrificed his Son for us?  These are harder questions to answer.

Am I Christan? Before I would have said yes of course, but now I'm not so sure.  I think that someone who lives a life with a good heart,  does their best to live a life without sin, is good to people,  and is open to the Lord has a place in Heaven.  Doesn't matter what religion they followed or if they followed one.  According to what I heard today that isn't the case.  You must be a Christian, you must believe in Jesus and obey God's will .  Now here's is something that was said that caught my attention: Everyone can be wrong, but not Everyone can be right.  Which okay, makes sense all the religions can be wrong, but not every religion can be right.  That would be contradictory to one another. 

One more thing that caught my attention was that We aren't about we can do for God, but about recognizing what God has done for us.  This was different.  What has God done for me? Almost immediately I recognized two things at least.  When I was lonely, desperately so, he surrounded me with people who love Him and trust Him.  For awhile there I was my own roadblock not letting these people in, but as I slowly opened up to them the more they appeared.  Also when I was started to seek him He was there ready to guide me back to Him.  I do believe he's been with me this whole time, I've just closed him out of my life to a certain extent.