Read an article on Yahoo today that provided reasons why people find it so hard to commit.
http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=11523&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=723940
#1 I'm not sure I have a list of must haves, other than your general good person, working, faithful, even temperament, just all around good person.
#2 Definitely applies to me, I can't commit because what if there is something better. I'm like that about everything in my life from choosing a purse to life partner. What if I like the purse in the next store better? I'm not so sure about this one- kind of thinking goes on constantly in the back of my mind. I'd like to just know this one, I like this one- and not second guessing myself. To just know and be happy with that would improve my life, I think. <--you see I'm not even sure about that decision, so I guess I'm just indecisive.
#3Terrefied to open up as in ranging on phobia would be appropriate label for my feelings on intimacy in all it's forms. This would be an enormous road-block that I'm wanting to diminish. It's so strong to in me to avoid any form of intimacy that I'm not even shooting for getting completely rid of this caution, just hoping to diminish it so I open up over time at least. At the moment a person could know me for years and it's like pulling teeth for me to do this. This goes back to the whole trust thing, which is a mountain issue to be dealt with at a later date.
#4 Glad I read this because I haven't defined my values, mostly because some are still in development. I agree for a long term relationship to work both parties values must match-up. From where you stand on family, religion, faith, money, moral, relate to people, love, intimacy, responsibility, life, etc.
#5 I think the idea of soul mates is wonderful, but it's more dream than reality. You make a choice to share a life with someone. It's a choice you make everyday that you are together. It's not always an easy choice, in fact it appears to me from my observational stand point to be a hard one most days. I do think there are people in life you just click with sometimes it's same sex, other times opposite. I've run into less than a handful in my lifetime, but I've learned that you treasure these people however they come to you for however long you are in each other's lives. It's so rare though to meet people who just get you, so I'll take the people in my life who I like and treasure them as well. A relationship with people I like requires more effort, but because I like them I'm willing to put in the effort to improve and continue the relationship.
To answer the question at this very moment in time no I'm not, but the desire to be ready has come about which has never truly appeared before. I will be ready.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
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